Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Fuck appropriateness.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
