its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
