Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
