The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
