i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
