2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
