i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
