So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
