apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
