Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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