quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
