he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
