i can't believe i had my finger in that
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
