i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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