Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
