its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Randomize
