I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
