your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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