Midget sex pt 2 tonight
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
