I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
