I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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