THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
