i may or may not be watching the land before time
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wish i was in the wii world.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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