i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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