you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
