I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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