Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
