when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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