Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
