My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
