Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
