I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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