You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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