Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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