somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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