I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
