Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
