Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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