Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
