Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
