I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
