why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
