her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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