I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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