Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
