I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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