yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
