He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
