and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
