actually, I'm a sock model
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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