The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
