I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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