So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I would fuck him just for his dog
I party with great urgency now.
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