if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
