just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just want to make out with him forever
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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